birfday

Birthdays have always been curious to me. I mean, it's not like I did anything...well I mean, I did do something...namely, show up eleven days late so I was the biggest baby of the week. Then I was unceremoniously stripped of my crown when I woman threw ten-pound twins the next week... and not like ten pounds combined, no no, ten pounds a piece.

Anyways, back on topic (yeah sorry I go off on tangents a lot) but yeah so it's not like I did anything. My mom did all the work...well her and the hospital staff since I decided to be a pain in the ass right from the start...but that's a horror story for another time.

So today was mine, well the anniversary of my birth unto this world...and to be honest I'm pretty blase' about the whole thing. It's kind of a "big deal..." day, and I don't mean that in a Ron Burgundy "I'm kind of a big deal..." kind of way, like big damn deal? If I was in school I'd still have to go to class, if I had a job, which would be nice for sooooo many reasons, I'd still have to go. So I don't understand why so many people make a big deal out of the fact that I don't advertise my birthday. Honestly, it's just another day closer to dyin'.

Which is a blast to say because people freak the fuck out when you say things like that, especially when you haven't turned 30 yet. But I'm a sarcastic, cynical prick so it kind of comes with the territory. And no, my sarcasm isn't a defense mechanism, despite the many attempts to convince me so. It's really more for entertainment. I like to say things to elicit a reaction. Not so much vulgar things, or things in bad taste...but things that are sure to get a reaction then to just smile sweetly and make whomever is huffing and puffing laugh that confused laugh.

That's where the whole Churlishly Charming thing came from. I had been hanging out with this chick for a couple weeks, definitely not serious, more of a rebound from woman #3, just y'know female company. Anyways, one night after a few beers, Blue Moon if I remember correctly...(yeah I remember inane shit a lot too) so yeah, we've had well, probably more than a couple and I made some disparaging comment about how she was built or something to that effect. Not really in a mean way, more of an offhand nonchalant kinda way. Just to needle her enough to get a reaction. Let me first say, she was in no way out of shape, I think she had been a soccer player and was transitioning into a triathlete so she was solid but definitely in shape, I think she was worried about slimming down for bikini season, hence my comment.

So with her shocked, "I can't believe you just said that!" look on her face she blurts out, "Oh my God, you're a fucking asshole!"

Coy smile from me...

"But you get away with it because you're charming, huh?"

So yeah, there it is. And I am charming too, comes with being a military officer's kid. At least that's what I tell myself. Some of my friends who were officer's kids were just fuckups. But I was very sure to not really get into trouble and to act beyond my years around my dad's superiors and their wives. I never wanted to be a blemish on his career.

Damn that really went off topic, huh? Really what this was supposed to be about was my lack of birthday spirit. Which, I guess for some people would be depressing, but I'm not on facebook or any other social networking site for the plain reason that I like to be a ghost. I don't need validation through little profile pictures of people from high school that I either wasn't really friends with then, so why be "friends" with them now, or people that didn't bother to try and stay in contact, so again, why bother, you didn't care then, why would you now?

I had three birthday wishes today, my parents and friend zone. And honestly, I'm completely fine with it. FZ was abhorred that she was the only one outside my family, but I talked to her for an hour and a half and that was really the highlight of my day so it's no big deal. Like I said, I don't advertise it. Three years ago no one knew it was my birthday, because it's really not a big deal to me, it doesn't, or at least it shouldn't, have any affect on anyone's day. And in case anyone is wondering what my amazing birfday dinner was...

...Honey Nut Cherrios topped off with a piece of Edward's frozen Hershey's Chocolate Creme Pie...which truthfully wasn't that good...kinda tasted like the waxy box it came in.

c'est la guerre

Restart

I guess I've decided to restart this little side-project, well since I've deleted my old posts most of which were nebulous and over two years old, yeah we'll call it a restart. I'm not doing this to produce a steady stream of interwebs gawkers, more of just a place to get the crap out of my head, and since I'm more apt to type than actually lay ink to parchment, here we are.

So as I sit here on the eve of my 29th birthday trying to think of something meaningful to put to "paper" I'm struck with the notion that it's amazing that I'm still here...not that I do stupid and/or dangerous shit per se, just that I lead such an amazingly dull existence, it's kinda shocking that I haven't died of boredom yet.

Yes, it's true, life is what you make of it, but I've never really known what I wanted out of it. When I was younger I always assumed wife, a kid or two, the whole nine yards. But having almost been engaged once and on the cusp of those thoughts a second time only to watch the relationship not so much crash and burn as simply drift away I'm less and less inclined towards that notion. It also doesn't help being in love with two different women and the idea of a third.

God I sound fucked up...I'm a therapist's wet dream.

Anyways, back to the women. So one's married now, which puts a bit of a damper on things. Truth be told, I had more than a few shots, just could never pull the trigger to do what it would take to make it work. The second one I fear has relegated me to the "Friend Zone" but has been abnormally...clingy's not the word, but along those lines, since I moved halfway across the country from her.
Now I didn't move to spite her, no I made this grand half-cocked plan to try and get my life in order...such that it is. Oh the best laid plans of mice and men. Yeah despite looking lay-up easy on paper, nothing has turned out how it seems.

Oh yeah, the third chick...well the idea of her. My last real relationship that just kind of ended, but not in the blow up, "Go fucking die in Hell" kinda way I'm used to... Maybe I just haven't tried hard enough, but since I'm not the hook-up and/or one night stand type, I've just kind of said, "Fuck it". I don't like the whole process. Having to learn someone new I mean. And it's not the having to go out on dates part, it's just all of it.
Is she into me?
Is she not?
How sarcastic can I be without offending her?
Oh, Jesus is that really her DVD collection?

But yeah, the long and short of it, I'll be spending my birthday alone, which is not to say "Whoa is me..." wait, is that even the right way to write that? Heh, I'm a loser, I just googled to see that I'm actually looking for "Woe is me..." Fucking homonyms. I didn't have to be in this predicament. I moved rather hap-hazardly from my fairly cushy life in the mid-Atlantic to the unknown adventures of the grand Republic.

And I know no one...no one. So much to my and my friend's collective chagrin, here I am. Though I did miss both of those blizzards, plus the additional 10 inches of snow they're supposed to get overnight, so there's that.

But I guess shots over Skype'll be better than no shots at all. And on that note, I think I'm about done for the night. I promise I'll try to be more organized next time and maybe only delve into one subject rather than the cornucopia of spasticness that this was.

Oh and I'll try to be more diligent with my posting than the last time I tried this...and since I still don't have a job, that shouldn't be too hard.

c'est la guerre